Poster: Apotheus at 5/31/2006 8:44:43 PM PDT
Subject: WoW The Motion Picture SCRIPT discovered!! |
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The mighty horde has gathered a huge army outside Ironforge ready for the final strike at the puny alliance resistance. The tension in the air is almost tangible as the Supreme Commander Galosh consults his second in command, Sarumén before getting ready to address his men for one final time.
"Is Lactor still disced?"
"I'm afraid so commander,"
"FFS, we'll have to move, my flask is running out"
Galosh makes some strange motions with his strong hands while his army watches in awe whispering to each other "The time has come".. Galosh is enveloped in a dust cloud that takes him momentarily out of sight. Out of the clouds a dark figure emerges..
An eerie silence commences as the supreme commander Galosh, the mightiest Tauren warrior of the horde, rides to face his army on his legendary mount that unfortunately resembles a bug. From behind the ranks someone says something like "lol". Galosh's right hand Sarumén is on spot and shouts viciously in a fierce bellowing roar "REPORTED!!" After some commotion, the army is silent once again ready to hear their commander's words...
Galosh faces his men and opens his mouth to make his speech... No sound comes out... He raises his hands and tries again.. Nothing..
Leaning towards his liutenant,
"Sarumén, what the feck?"
"Hmm sire, a quick relog?"
"FFS GIMME "L" DAMMIT"
" /blush"
"Mighty HORDE!!! Blood will flow today! You'll split open Alliance veins and let it flow like sweet wine! Today you'll cease alliance existance, not cease fire! We have the spirit of Zanza! We have the blessing of Nefarian! You will use whatever is necessary to turn this day into one glorious victory. Pop enrage, abuse your trinkets! and remember Holy VENT connects us all!
You will slaughter every single one of them! No exceptions! *Cough* except civilians, especially the gnomes that sell bread and engineering recipes *cough* Today will be a day of Honor! Leave the Field and Grand Marshalls to me! May the gods of the fabled maintenance grant us with honor!
And lastly but most important! This concerns every single one of you except the Shamans!! If you die in battle, I want you to corpse run ASAP. No lingering!
It's time to end this once and for all! Now take your pots we're going in"
The whole surrounding lands submerge into a nightmare as they witness Galosh's improved battle shout signalling his troops to charge: "PPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ON"
The horde army exhilerated by their glorious leader's speech starts to charge in through the gates of Ironforge in unison! They get ready to shout their furious battlecry to strike terror to the hearts of the weak alliance races!
Rain starts to fall..
Time itself seems to slow down and actually grinds to a halt.. The horde frozen in its tracks witness a horrible sight!!!
Supreme commander of the horde forces, the horrific Tauren warrior, bane of the alliance scum, Galosh, is running into a wall..
At that exact moment in time, a young gnome mage called "Munyfurmuntpls" sees the entire horde army frozen in time while storming the gates and hears their mighty battle shout!
"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FFS"
He is curious why the mighty horde army has just all shouted a single word:
"Kek"
.
.
.
Inside Ironforge, fearless leader of the alliance, honorable head of the paladin order, a man of limitless and versatile talents, Baablenhearth is discussing strategy with his officers..
"Kalimdor down?"
"Yes your highness, as you instructed we sent an army of 1000 gnomes to Felwood and they started dancing simultaneously."
"Good good.. That should keep them from getting reinforcements."
"Brilliant idea my dear sir"
"Did you relocate our secret strike force to exactly where I instructed you to?"
"Yes sir! They are camping the Graveyard as we speak. Night elves are shadowmelded, gnomes are hiding in the bushes. I've told the dwarves to lay low, sent the humans to farm rep"
"SENT THE HUMANS TO FARM REP?!?!?! What the heck?"
"New instance sir."
"Ah alright, welldone lad"
"THank you sir"
"Raid full?"
"Yes sir"
"Balanced?"
"Mages are still pissed you bid on that spellpower ring sir, none of them came"
"FFS!!! Locks?"
"They didn't show up either sir, they didn't have any dkp"
"Warriors??"
"Only 1 sir, the rest are still upset over the Scarab incidence last week."
"Priests??????"
"All respecced shadow sir, they are all in Alterac Valley"
"DRUIDS??????????????"
"They are in Ahn'Qiraj sir, say they like the loot there"
"ROGUES?????????????????????"
"Well don't really know sir, they all vanished, only one I know that's surely coming is in queue"
"sigh.. Hunters are here at least right?????"
"Well.. Most said that they are a ranged class and are currently in Stormwind. The one we have here in Iron Forge appears to be dead."
"All we have is paladins then?"
"Well sir we also have a gnome mage called Munyfurmuntpls who wanted to join"
"Tier 2?"
"Level 1 sir"
"OH FFS! ALright then, we'll have to put some of them to dps, some to heal, some to cleanse... and I want the rest of our paladins to get their Egan's Blaster out of the bank!"
"ehmm all good sir but.. last patch.. egan's..."
"Arg dammn"
Exhausted, Glorified paladin leader of the alliance, Baablenhearth, takes a good look at his troops.. All paladins... In his mind he sees a weird vision.. An endless field of bananas... Quickly dismissing the vision, he turns to them to give them a valiant speech that will reinforce their faith and ensure a victory in this direst of days..
"Brothers in Ar..........."
"WTS [PAULDRONS OF WRATH] !!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!"
"Soulbound NUB!!!!!"
"STFU idiot he was joking!!"
"STFU urself, stop spamming!"
"Ignore ftw!"
"Leave trade knobs! You suxxor"
"You leave it ffs! Everyone report him!"
"What's a reasonable price for "Stitches' Femur"?
"Kalimdor down?"
"LAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGG..."
.
.
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Outside Ironforge, Supreme Commander Galosh had faded from view after running into a wall for more then one minute. He suddenly reappears mumbling something incoherent about his character already being in game. Unable to move, he looks at his army that's frozen in time. His liutenant Sarumén is still standing close to him. He leans towards him to whisper..
"Sent a ticket?"
"Yes sire, I've asked on Vent for everyone to do the same"
"Will he come you think?"
"I surely hope so.."
At that moment a mysterious figure in a blue robe suddenly appears in front of them...... Stands still for a couple of minutes and then disappears..
"FFS even the GM disced!!"
"Forums?"
"Also down"
"...."
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.
.
In Stormwind, the esteemed leader of the hunters, Eyefkey, faces his fellow hunters, trying to reach a vital decision about the impending battle in Ironforge.
"Fellow hunters, this is a sad day for all of us! As we all know the war effort caused the thorium prices to go sky high, our arrows cost so much that I'm reluctant to part with any of them. So I put this to vote.. Will we help our comrades or feign?"
"I can go melee?"
"..."
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.
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In Kalimdor, a strong figure naked waist up and unarmed walks slowly towards the shore.. There is a boat there that can take him to the Eastern Continent and help him join the conflict that's about to start..
He chooses to swim.. 3 strokes will take him there..
Before he can however, Kalimdor goes down.. Chuck Norris disconnects... after a couple of tries he gives up and logs to his alt, Munyfurmuntpls.
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In GM island, in a location that's the best guarded secret in the world (if you ignore the fact that a couple of guilds have discovered it and are holding meetings there) two GMs are arguing like mad..
"Mike, come on man.."
"I said no!"
"Mike, they are all stuck! Kalimdor's down! Ironforge is frozen!"
"But Quake 4 works wonders on the new machines :(("
"OK let's make a deal, after they are done ganking you can unplug it again alright?"
"Sigh.. alright...."
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At the gates of Ironforge, Supreme Commander Galosh, receives a whisper,
"We are aware of the problem you are experiencing, our whole team is now looking into it, it should be resolved momentarily"
and suddenly the world comes alive again! For a single second Galosh can swear that he sees his entire army with impact armor and machine guns and then all reverts back to normal..
As the vicious might of the horde begin to storm Ironforge, the valiant Alliance forces comes to meet them in field of valor.
Someone shouts,
"FFA for loot pls!"
INTERMISSION... ;)[ post edited by Apotheus ]
| | | http://forums-en.wow-europe.com/thread.aspx?fn=wow-general-en&t=1037253&p=#post1037253 | | | Poster: Aeus at 6/1/2006 1:14:08 AM PDT
Subject: Re: WoW The Motion Picture SCRIPT discovered! |
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Part 2 plx! kkthx!
Seriously, hilariously funny :)
Read the stickies first!
| | | http://forums-en.wow-europe.com/thread.aspx?fn=wow-general-en&t=1037253&p=#post1037358 | Poster: Aeus at 6/2/2006 1:17:47 AM PDT
Subject: Re: WoW The Motion Picture SCRIPT discovered! |
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Apotheus, you might want to re-post and reserve some posts for continuing the story. Or post them in parts, like the Warcraft Weekly :)
Read the stickies first!
| | | http://forums-en.wow-europe.com/thread.aspx?fn=wow-general-en&t=1037253&p=#post1039378 |
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